Apparently the US government doesn't believe my marriage is real.

This on top of their wasteful cutting of a tax rebate of $1.56.

The Husband just got the following email sent to him:

Dear Human,

We just received a request from USCIS to submit additional evidence of the bona fides of your marriage.....

Best regards, Immigration Lawyer

Apparently, all of the following things (which substantiate our marriage) aren't enough:

Being (happily) married for four years
Having lived together for five years
Having both our names on a lease for five years
Being on the same insurance plan for four years
Paying taxes jointly for four years
I know what the problem probably is.... I'm so fiercely independent. We don't share the same last name. And we don't share any checking or savings accounts.

I told my husband, "I say we just show them all the insurance paperwork from the fertility treatments last year. That should be confirmation enough that the marriage is legitimate."

Perhaps I could use all my blog posts from the past 2.5 years as evidence that we are in a legitimate union? Or maybe they would like to visit our marital home and see me gripe to my husband about how he cleans things not up to my standards? Or, maybe they want to see us get it on with some homemade porn?

Damnit, I'll do what I have to in order to prove the legitimacy of my marriage.
Posted by The Missus at 6/05/2008 03:12:00 PM 0 comments
Labels: Things That Suck.
"... As Long As It's Near A Starbucks."

I believe it... I believe that people do use retail chains in their decision making process for where to live and plant down roots.

Five years ago, The Husband and I came up to Boston one Spring weekend to look at apartments. We were scheduled to move to Boston in mid-Spring, and we didn't really have any idea where exactly to live.

We decided that "Downtown" would be our best option. He would be working for a financial company in the area. I didn't have a job yet. So we decided that like NYC, "Boston's an easy city to get around from Downtown. We can't go wrong with that location!" (How so WRONG we were.)

Anyhoo... As the real estate agent drove us around (yes, DROVE us around the small area of Downtown Crossing) from apartment building to apartment building, I found myself unimpressed with everything that was being shown to me.

The first place was a total dump of a space. And it was over $2k a month, which was not what we wanted to spend. So we nixed that one.

The second place was a complete dump too. It was a high rise closer to the Beacon Hill area. And it had parquet floors. Now, no offense, but I think parquet floors (when not kept shiny) look like crap. (No offense, people!) In NYC, people go "ga-ga" over parquet floors. And I never understood why. If you're going to do wooden floors, just freaking go to IKEA and buy the slats and put them in your self. It's not that hard, and not that expensive.

The third place we saw though (a high rise), that was my shining beacon of hope. Why? Because there was a Boston Sports Club on the top floor of the building, and a Starbucks at the bottom.

That was all I needed to hear/see. I was sold. Additionally, there was a huge Borders Bookstore across the street (which I work on top of now, actually) and a Thomas Pink store a few doors down. But the Starbucks was what sold it for me.

My husband thought I was crazy for using this as my criteria for choosing a place to live. But I didn't think it was crazy at all. Starbucks is where all the action happens. That's where we meet new neighbors... And eavesdrop on conversations... And plan world domination while Bogarting a table for hours.

"This is how I will meet new people in Boston," I told my husband.

I was wrong though. I didn't meet new people at the Starbucks location. And I didn't plan world domination. I soon learned that living in Downtown Crossing was a shit decision, as everything closes down at like 7pm.

However, as we plan our move to Toronto for next May, The Husband and I used a few things to decide which area we wanted to look for an apartment/home...

Has to be near the Subway
Has to be near a Whole Foods
Has to be near a Taco Bell
Has to be near a Bikram studio
And yes, has to be near a Starbucks
Some people plan their living locations around school systems, work and family members living in the area. Not me though. I need urban areas. I need public transportation. I need to be able to see a variety of different things/cultures just by taking a quick subway ride or walking a few blocks.

To me, that is life. The country (where there is a vacation home for us) will be for resting. Downtown Toronto, that is for living.